Dua for family unity

When. After an argument that has not resolved, during a rift between relatives, or as a standing supplication for a household. Its origin is congregational rather than domestic, which is worth knowing.

The words. Allif bayna qulubina — from ulfah, the root of alif, familiarity and the joining of things that belong together. Note the object: hearts, not conduct. It does not ask for the disagreement to be settled or for anyone to be shown to be right. It asks for the affection underneath, on the assumption that positions follow hearts and not the reverse.

Aslih dhata baynina is an idiom that resists literal translation. Dhata baynina is "the state of what is between us" — the relationship itself treated as a thing with its own condition, separate from the people on either side of it. What is asked to be repaired is not either party; it is the space between them.

Where it comes from. The words belong to the supplication said when straightening the rows for prayer, where hearts turning away from one another is spoken of as a real danger. Applied to a family, the transfer is natural: a household is the smallest congregation there is.

The third clause. Subulas-salam — the paths of peace, plural. More than one route exists out of a rift, and the supplication asks to be guided to them rather than naming one.

What it does not ask for. No one is asked to be corrected, humbled, or brought around. That absence is the discipline of the supplication.